first time at rehabilitative medicine

My shoulders decided to turn against me when they suddenly stiffened and developed a lump the size of Australia. I couldn't take it anymore and told my mother that I am going to have my shoulder fixed.

My mom suggested for me to go to her Physical Therapist, Hya. I did as she said and she even accompanied me to the clinic in one of the biggest laboratories in the city. It was Monday so a lot of people are at her office including an adorable 6 year old girl named Jana. Hya said we can come back after 30 minutes since she had just started treating a woman who had been ran over by an Elf truck.

Annoyed because I had to go to work after 5 hours, I accompanied my mother to the houseware area of the SM Department store to buy a shower curtain since she didn't like the one at home. Whoever heard of a fabric shower curtain?! It turned out to be fun.

When we got back to the clinic, the session began with electrocuting my shoulder...nah just kidding, Hya put some circular stuff on my shoulder that generates electricity to at least relax the muscles on my shoulders. Add hot compress to that and I was burning. Hya told me not to fall asleep on her, but I did. It was so relaxing.

Next was another set of hot compress and a massage so painful I didn't realize I was holding my breath. But it felt good though the pain still lingered.

My mom, meanwhile, was making friends with Janna who was also being treated for her leg problems. She's on rehab since age 1 due to the over stiffness of her muscles and she had 2 surgeries on her leg. Now at age 6 she can move both her legs but has yet to walk on her own. But I got to hand it to the kid, she is tough. Her rehab sessions are very strenous and painful that my mother said she ends up feeling sorry for the kid and telling Hya to at least be gentle with her. But this is rehabilitative medicine, nothing is gentle.

The treatment took an hour and it was spent on chatting with Hya and Janna. My mom was occasionally joining in. Actually my mom and Janna are the ones talking away and they're like grandma and grandchild. I find this little girl cute and adorable.

When it was done I felt more relaxed if a bit hurt in places I never knew existed only shoulders. Hya taught me some stretching exercises as well.

This will not be the last time I'm going to the Physical Therapist. How long I would be going, I do not know. My shoulders would never completely soften but at least it would reduce pain in my body particularly my headaches.

wel, well

What do you know? The guy cares. Sure he kind of reprimanded me for pulling up other websites. Well, actually he warned me about pulling up other websites while I'm on a call. Then punched my arm lightly like he always does.

Ha!

i'm so sick and tired of my life

Just as the subject implies, I am sick and tired of my life. If I could commit suicide right now I would, but I can't since I'm too scared inflict pain on myself and this is a mortal sin. But I can talk about death and on how I want to die. I wonder if I would be able to find the peace I needed in death than when I was in life.

Sometimes it is scary to die not waking up and seeing the sunshine, the rain, my family and friends.

I just feel this way because I'm so down right now. Everything sucks.

But death is not an excuse to run away. Besides what would that make me? A weak person and that would be the last thing I want to be called.

I'm just so frustrated right now I want to scream. Am I ready to move up or would I always stay down?! From my family to my friends they told me that God has something in store for me; something better.

Sure.

of cynicism and bitterness

I am beginning to realize that some things in life are not for me. It seems everyone is moving on nicely with their lives except me. Is this a joke? I wonder. Does God have a better plan for me that I'm too human to realize? I know there is always a bright side to everything but I also want results as well. Hmm, have I become an American?

Scary.

I don't know why I feel like I need to rush things in my life. It's like if I don't experience all of them at the same time, my life would be meaningless. Is it because I'm in my mid-20's? But I've been feeling like this since I turned 18 and that's already 7 years ago. I feel like I need to do everything before I die. Is this weird? Morbid? Rushed?

I'm so young yet I feel so old. Have I been this serious all my life?

Cynicism is something acquired not born. Bitterness is experienced not cultivated.

for irate agents

This is something my supervisor forwarded to the entire team. In the message, he asked if this was me. I do have a reputation as an irate agent in the team though someone has taken my throne as the most irate agent in the center. But my being irate has helped the team countless times in terms of perfomance.

It is a funny but morbid picture. For those with queasy stomachs don't bother to look at it.